found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
