Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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