My brain says no but my pants say off.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize