no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
