He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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