You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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