I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
