Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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