yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
