i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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