false alarm. still invincible.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You left your phone here
Wait...
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