oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Alive.
So much puke
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
