Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
