Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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