Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry dkallday hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(704): View more from North Carolina

I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.

Fav 56 8314 1676
share tweet
(202): View more from Washington, DC

the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.

Fav 15 1482 5736
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(914): View more from New York

Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO

Fav 6 2101 1026
share tweet
(519): View more from Ontario

That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded

Fav 3 2141 740
share tweet
(416): View more from Toronto

I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.

Fav 13 3238 1246
share tweet
(503): View more from Oregon

you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.

(1-503): View more from Oregon

What kind of balloon animal was it?

Fav 12 2275 815
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(303): View more from Colorado

You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...

Fav 1 1747 916
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(716): View more from New York

Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.

Fav 0 168 112
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(609): View more from New Jersey

Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.

Fav 0 11 23
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT