im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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