but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
