Just fell off a train. Bad.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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