Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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