I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
