We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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