Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
