:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
