And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
