I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
