Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
