She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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