i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
