Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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