did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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