this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
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