whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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