shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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