any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
