I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
