Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
You can't motorboat a personality
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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