Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
we're so committed to being not committed
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
