I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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