Bisexual people are plain selfish.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
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