used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
