Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
