so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I looked at my own cervix.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
