you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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