Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
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