She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
