I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
