Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
