We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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