I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
