Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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