my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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