my sisters under your porch take her home
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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