i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
