He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize