i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
