Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
