Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Randomize